is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
