that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
