I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
