i wish starbucks made bloody marys
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
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I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
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Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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