My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
