But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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