He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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