i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
did you just send me my own nude
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
