Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
