she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
