Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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