Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
either way he was missing a nipple.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
