then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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