Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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