we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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