apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
