Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
