just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
