so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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