I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
