the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
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Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
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Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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