I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
