Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Why don't you ever send me any naked pics

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  (617): Why don't you ever send me any naked pics http://tfl.nu/oqg1
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Genius.

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  (704): I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty. (803): Genius. http://tfl.nu/hci7
  Replies (25) Good night (3597) Bad night (495)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.

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  (785): Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face. http://tfl.nu/ktzo
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.

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  (401): OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever. http://tfl.nu/cy9z
  Replies (195) Good night (10541) Bad night (867) Order T-Shirt
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Happy St. Patrick's Day.

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  (502): I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen.... (508): Happy St. Patrick's Day. http://tfl.nu/t6ex
  Replies (2) Good night (3145) Bad night (588)
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  (409): View more from Texas

  Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.

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  (409): Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing. http://tfl.nu/yp46
  Replies (22) Good night (1648) Bad night (5002)
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  (716): View more from New York

  she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.

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  (716): she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives. http://tfl.nu/3y3d
  Replies (9) Good night (1180) Bad night (4921) Order T-Shirt
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...

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  (812): Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this... http://tfl.nu/q2aq
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  (424): View more from California

  he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety

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  (424): he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety http://tfl.nu/36fw
  Replies (12) Good night (3435) Bad night (741) Order T-Shirt
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now

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  (507): you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now http://tfl.nu/xehl
  Replies (9) Good night (2741) Bad night (818) Order T-Shirt
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday

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  (808): Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday http://tfl.nu/8jtv
  Replies (11) Good night (1608) Bad night (558) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...

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  (214): Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake... http://tfl.nu/n6e9
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  (631): View more from New York

  I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.

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  (631): I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation. http://tfl.nu/bilr
  Replies (1) Good night (893) Bad night (338) Order T-Shirt
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  (510): View more from California

  This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.

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  (510): This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him. http://tfl.nu/bezf
  Replies (18) Good night (1581) Bad night (244) Order T-Shirt
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work

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  (586): Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work http://tfl.nu/uldi
  Replies (6) Good night (342) Bad night (623) Order T-Shirt

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