i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!