there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.