reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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