i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize