i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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