Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
