things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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