thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize