The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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