The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
