apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I look excited, but its just a facade.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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