Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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