shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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