Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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