Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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