It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Dignity is for republicans.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
