i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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