Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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