Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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