11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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