i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
