We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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