dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
