i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
