how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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