Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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