he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize