I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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