He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize