We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
