eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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