And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
