Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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