$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
