I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
