Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
