Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Randomize
