everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
