Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Randomize
